My friends and I are going out tonight while we are in town for this convention, but I would much rather stay home. See, I'm going to enjoy myself on my own, but I'm going to party with Kortney Kane instead of getting wasted. Yes, the porn star Kortney Kane. I've paid for this, so it's just going to be me and her in my suite, and she will do all I ask of her. She is even expected to wear the cute little clothes I asked her to pack. While I'm getting my dick sucked by a porn actor, all those other idiots will be squandering their money on getting wasted. God, I'm intelligent. God, I'm intelligent.